The last train of 1948

the story of the rail was still the same,

it was the lonely night of 1948,

we had just left lahore ,leaving behind a story to be told



The journey was supposed to take us to a land less seen, less prayed and less enjoyed.

sorrow filled us all, As Lahore was the city of our ancestors

a small child slept sliently in his mother's lap,

similar to our country, lil did he know or his mother

tht passage ahead was all of blood and 

only some would make it alive from here


we had just crossed the city , moving along the dead traints of the forest

All were silent and all were scared , cause we all had heard..

of what sikhs had done to the muslims there...

the train was the last one out of our nation , which was now no more..

leaving the fields, plains and all the stories down the memory lane

Then when dark grew over the night , and everyone was crudely tight...

came the scream of a women and noone knew why,


they all pushed and moved to see...the train was being chased by some ghoslty preists..

And then came the worst of the shots, and the train did not stop.. 

so they pulled up on the train..broke open some of the doorways....

Their were screams and tears all over, and were still better than what follwed...

blood was flowing like water from stream, and no one had a way to crub this scream...


they blooded most of us, pulled some of us down, 

the men grew brave and pushed all the women away from the gates...

but it was a bit too late....

They were above us, around us and all over us....we struggled and fought but 

there was nothing wwe could at all...

the asleep children woke up to cry out their souls,

it seemed that god had fallen prey to the curse of satan's stay..

every sword had a dip of the hindu blood..



there was a girl of my age , praying away in a corner sway,

I looked over her mother's dead grave , and noticed she was not from my stray.

She was a muslim and still spared, i trebbled all along the way..

tears rolled thru her eyes, and fear controlled her thoughts..

even RAM would'nt have been able to save the day, as RAhim was not the one to slay ..

The train was near the border and i was near this muslim , 

i went and clumped her along with the rest of the children, 

its not going to be long my friend, said my voice to her..

i tried to pull her and see if she came along, she asked to be leave her on her own way..

i saw the light shimering thru her eyes,while she asked me jus this one line:

Will ur people forgive me ,for being a muslim...then i understood y she was afraid...

cause it was not the religion that was killing us away , but the people of this stupid fate...


and before i realised half of us had survived this deadly way, and i still coudnt find that simple girl...

who was lost away , i dont no wat here fate was and i hope she was ok.

Still as we crossed the city of chandigarh, with more dead bodies than life...and i saw someone shout again...

she was right , they had found her half alive ,

i went over to see, and she slowly whispered in my ear 

" i am killed by the same land i left, 

and i am not a hindu or muslim when i die...

i am just a victum of this horrific riot"...

those words still ring a bell in my ear, and now even when it is 40 years..

i cry at the fate of this country , not because it is divided over land ..

but because it is partitioned over something EVEN gods cant withstand.....

The last letter to God

I write a letter to him every now and then, 

some wishes are met , some are just left...

I presume he has a lot of work, so he delays some of them

When they are not fulfilled, he makes up for it by a lil gild..

I dont know where to address my letters, 

my grandma replies I dont know where he is, but he always knows where i am .





We keep a small postage box, where i collect my letters...

every week god sends his postman to collect letters from me,i am told

I asked my grandma one day,"they say that god does not receive my letters"....

In reply she says....world is full of a lot of things.my dear...

but only those you believe in ..are the ones that are real"

I take her word and still continue to write ,




Its been quite some time now, he hasnt replied to my last letter ....

this time i requested him to bring back my grandmom,

i requested him to let her live with me a little longer

Its been weeks , months and now i am getting impatient...

maybe they were right , maybe there was no god receiving my letters 

so i asked him to reply to me ,requested him to give a reason for this agony



When i went to post my last letter, i saw a handwriting that was familiar ...

it was addressed to me same as god ...

A letter written by my grandmom, was here to see... 

i didnt want to open it..but i think it was already read...

as i started being more rational , i went ahead and read it !!!!

My grand mom had wriiten, " My dear god!!! please free me of this pain and agony."

in this was her insight 

Everything became clear....my faith in god became more stear 

not because he had not heard my wish, but because he had ended my grandmom's anguish...

but still i pondered about my letterbox....and i still wanted to believe that my letter was being seen..


I have stopped writing to him since then, cause now i believe i can talk to him...

Thou in my later years, my parents told me that they kept those letters aside....

yet they were unable to explain, the reason for grandma's letter of vain....

I have stopped asking for rational reasons since...cause now I just turnaround and tell everyone...


"WORLD IS FULL OF LOT OF THINGS, ONLY THE ONES YOU BELIEVE IN ,ARE THE ONES THAT ARE REAL"....

Kashmir

It’s a way of life it seems …one life ends the other redimes..

He was still her age, and little they did know about fate’s major game.

Studied in school, and then out of college were falling in love with not just the climate

He did know her, but knew little about her dad

A Colonel in the Army was still enough to scare you apart…

He was popular for little gimmicks with terrorists apart,

And a President Medal was still stuck upon his wall….

Living with the highs if the Kashmir valley,

They didn’t realize this love was going to come down so heavy…

Her dad was not aware, and it was all fine … but the moment of truth didn’t suffice

 He tried to persuade, pressure and even bribe their love… but nothing gave in to this

Beautiful trust….

So, She was one day summoned to office to show her the real truth ….

The truth was never known, until he was also declared a terrorist on-roll….

She broke away like fire from ice, never knew he could do this for any price

He knew something was going wrong, for now he got arrested for something so small

They kept him under wraps for months, till then she was told he had done using her….

Disappointed she left for her London school, and still awaits the misery intold…

He was back, and he was still looking for some clue…someone told him of what her

father had done……

He brought it up to face with this father, and in a duel begged him for his daughter

He refused say the name of her drool, and even refused to un-tag his terrorist role…..

He begged to let his family go, and on one condition that she may never be told…

Then revenge took over the plate of the armour , and soon enough he was never to be heard off..

It was just two years to this tragedy that the same colonel was found murdered in his house alley….

Declared a terrorist attack, without a spot of bother… no one ever really knew the reason for this horror.

And when everyone was flying, with 24 bullet salute did the colonel die…and his only daughter came back to cry….

He left her a old note on his desk, saying things he never meant….

Dated 5 years back, but never posted to her address,

Love and care and a note of apologies for all that was forgotten…

Now, it all became clear and also the reason for this frame…..

She wrote a final letter addressing her once lost lover, for the last time…

Asking for apologies to his grandmom’s address…..

And knew there was almost no response left….

But there was another twist in the tale, as she got a reply …within some days

This letter had a writing which was familiar…..

It was the letter, she had hoped she never got..

As he wanted to apologize for her dad’s murder

and asked for anew start….cause it was an even “bark”….

She went to his father's old  home

Just to meet him...just to tell him.. this once and for all

“I am sorry for what happened with you and your family,

I have seen the shadow pass away, from his heart….”

I loved you for all that you were not him; I loved you for what you were….

Now I am here to tell you, that your effort was a waste of time, as my father didn’t hate

You all this time….

There was a reason, and He told me he had been threatened for my security….by some

People of your very own family, they asked him to become the devil !!!

When he was just father just trying to protect his lil daughter…

Thinking about

 the life, that could have been if we had understood his pain,

 in the end, we all  had our our anger and rage,

But my father was the loser, even when he was not to blame

Now the time is lost, and the blame is bought…

So before I say goodbye I just wanted to clear his name of your bad thoughts

 When the next time you try and blame

 Always remember, Its all about the prospective that you claim…..”

SHE

I was born a son to her

but today I am her teacher

My existence is because of her presence

My belief's are because of her strength

10 year's back, She fought all my little battles of life

Today I am the reason for her survival

I have grown  and I am bold

yet I am her little  12 year old

I was born a Brother to her

Today she is a daughter to me 

I was attracted to her cause she was alike

She was my partner in all our house crimes

We never fought over the TV remote,

But over who loved MOMA more…

She never let me be alone, as I never knew

There was somebody watching over my shoulder

who did not let me get away with my boulders

I was born a friend to her

But today she is like a sister to me

She was the one who passed me through school

Irritated me to study ,as I was a big fool

Pulled me back from time to time

Even cursed me to get me out of small crimes

I hated her for being so frank

But later saw, how unrealistic I had been so far

Never asked me for anything in return

Just wished me all the best for when it was my turn

I was a lover to her

Today I am her best friend 

I knew life like I never knew it before

Cloud 9 with her seemed so true

Not my blood still seemed so related

She was the love of my life, and so we finally dated

I won all my battles against her

Never realized I was weaker in love to confer

I became We, And everything just steered

My wife  is my love that never disappeared

Relations have changed,phases has passed 

Their contribution still remains very vast.

Now When my mind asks "Who completes me ?" 

But my heart proudly darts "DUMBO!!SHE is who completes HE"

The Last Entry

My last entry before I go to War

I think this time we will be gone for long,

200 kms down south,our enemy awaits our clog dance

No one really knows if this will be our last advance

.

.

Everyone talks of peace,

No one,more than a soldier wants it's release.

As I sit up writing this entry,

The thought of the wind passes my hair,

Feels like its brought a message to me through the air

Sitting with the mountains,I read all their cues.

Even they just hope that someday, soliders will be put to better use

.

.

The way ahead seems long and lost

The battle is not a one way stop,

No one will survive,will the other dies

Even Pain and sufering will  appaul

Only The relief of victory or ,

The grief of defeat, will satisfy us all.

.

.

Thousands have died,thousand more are ready do so

Isn't their life worth a little more?

Don't take my prospective as a sign of regret

I only wish that,My words make a little sense

The right and wrong,are only in the thoughtful woes

Victims will be all,but still no one knows

.

.

As I leave this diary here to be found,

I hope someone reads it if, when I am gone

If  I ever return to this place again,

I will always remember,Why my sacrifice was in vain!!!

Not because I died for my country during war,

but because I caused humanity to suffer,against the life they adore!!

TIME - 4th Dimension

There is a "ticking" for everything
don't no where it stops
My days just pass by
and as i look through the windows of life
i realize what has gone by

Stillness is not content...
time does not leave anyone,
makes its mark on everyone,
Not my face,not my age ,
not even my glorious days

Time -leaves it all
I have seen my shadow grow,
so,sincerely to be true,
Friends have gone by ,
but memories are still alive
IT seems a long lost story,
when we were free and bubbly

Now are the days to bond and mature,he says
for me time has to stop,there is so much loss

TIme -they say is god.
when he darts , everything starts
time is like a killer -i say
the race to death is my way
but beat me to it ,is wat he replies.
i fear my loss is near,so take care and do not dare
to wave away your fears.
As time waits for none,even wen ur the only one.
As he runs ahead ,dont be far behind.
It is painful to be lost in ur past,wen time is finishing you so fast

TIME -a faithful friend
at the finish,we meet again..and his essense is lost then..
He waits like a good friend,but i sturbon along my way ..
to make him wait ...
as it wasnt me who was slow...it ws him ,who lost his wow!!!!

jus like that!!!

I am "Your Thought"

I am the sinner, I am the priest,

I am the child passing the street.

I am a sarcastic laugh, I am a painful thought.

I am the war, which ran the world for ages.

I am the cry, behind the prison cages.

I am in the tear of your mother, as I am in her delight.

I am in the divide of caste, I am in its devotion

I am Just a Thought, A thought of your creation

Then why do you still blame the world for your existence..

Blame it for your defeats and sorrows,

When all of it was created inside your head’s burrow.

I have been the same in Hitler, as I had been in Luther.

I was the same in Mandela, as I was in Stalin.

Yet, the world sees itself in the illusion of this life,

When I am still the same, in the kid studying the under the streetlamp

And the one in the bungalow, pretending to be a champ.

I do not connect to God , I just pretend to be him, when you need him the most.

I make your belief, your superstition and even your response.

But, when you create me then, why!! Does the world have to be responsible?

The truth is that, this world lies inside your head,

It was created there and someday it will end there only.

And if you would have seen, how to create me as a part of this world

Maybe, you would have realized what you always wanted,

A beautiful life and a wonderful world, as its all just a state of mind.

Lying in a hospital bed, as your journey comes to an end,

Even though you think you understood it a bit too late

I would say, ”you have come a long way!!!”